The Positoovity Post

In case you don't get the title, it's a reference to a song from Disney's The Little Mermaid Broadway show. That's a mouthful. I've recently had to change my music choices based on a suggestion and I've switched back to the more upbeat musicals and generally fun happy music or music that puts me in a positive mood.

Life gets really tough, especially if you have bipolar. Coming out of a depression, I feel like I should feel better. I felt better for a little while, but there's been so much stress in my life in the rebuilding process that it's hard to tell. So it's time to practice what I preach to my clients at my new job. Do things that make you happy, listen to positive things, read good books, spend time with good people that make you happy, and when you are doing those things don't think about what you have waiting for you when you come home or go to work.

"It's hard, I get it. Believe me," I tell them. So here's what I'm going to do. I've found a pagan chant that helps me calm down with deep breathing. I've put that on a small piece of paper and hidden it behind my  name tag so it's easy to look at and say when things get hard.

Tonight when I get home, I'm not going to worry about whether or not the floors need swept, there's dirty dishes in the sink, or how far behind house maintenance has fallen. I'm going to pour myself a nice glass of white wine, light some candles, and slip into a warm bubble bath and soak. Give myself some time to enjoy something. I'm to do some self maintenance. The house can wait, the finances can wait, work can wait, relationship issues can wait for a night. Just one night. After my bath I'm going to climb the stairs and slip under the covers and into a stress-free sleep.

I will wake up refreshed and come up with an answer for work questions, maybe figure out some financial answers, and clean at least one room. I will leave for work a little earlier than usual, have a nice casual drive in. Not be stressed while there, finish everything on time or even stay a little late to finish it up. I will not leave until paperwork is done or a half hour after I am scheduled. No later. I will leave work at work.

I will spend some time planning for the week that night to lay out a schedule and ground rules. This needs to be done by this date, sort of thing. Structure. Structure is good.

Now, on to the "positricity" part. I'm switching up the music on my phone. Upbeat or inspiring music only. I will plan to finally bake on my day off and if that isn't possible, I will spend the day with a friend to just enjoy being outside. I will get my telescope from my parent's house and start gazing through to the planets and star clusters that I can see. I will start keeping a diary, to vent or just talk about my day. I won't use it for only complaining. I will put into practice of finding at least 1 positive of my day and take a moment when I reflect on my day, how I felt. Did I feel overwhelmed, did I feel anxious, did I feel happy? This is important practices I think.

I will let everyone know, I'm going through a healing process. I'm detoxifying myself from the negativity that I have found myself in. I'm not blaming anyone for it, it's just life. It happens. But I need to finish healing. I don't want to talk about anything I can't handle mentally until I'm ready. I think that's a fair thing to ask for. Also, for the people who have been really trying, people who have made me feel more cynical than is really how I am. I'm going to find something positive about them too, a reason that I started being friends with them but forgot or have let their negative qualities outshine. When I find those, I won't forget again. If those positive qualities aren't there any more and something about them has changed. I need to distance myself from them. That's a healthy choice, I think.

I'm also, going to take my friends up on their suggestions of going halvsies on booths at craft shows, flea markets, or even farmers markets. The holidays are coming up. People will want homemade goods for gifts. It will give me a lot of practice and it will put my name out in the area as someone who is talented with a crochet hook, at sewing, or at baking.

There's a lot more that I need to do, I think to get back to being the girl who smiled all the time because she was so filled with joy. But this is a good start.

Time to Lose those Extra Pounds!

After a early morning run to Convenient Care yesterday morning after waking up to what I thought was a UTI, I decided enough was enough. I need to lose this extra weight. As I am recovering from a year and a half of terrible times: dad having a stroke, Diogenes leaving for school for a year, slipping into a bad depression, emergency appendectomy, wisdom teeth removal, and 2 job changes, to name a few, I am starting to rebuild my life.

I am at a job that I like, a job that deals with mental health and on bad days for my clients and I can actually see how bad it may be on my bad days for those around me, which forces me to keep myself in check. I am working on pulling myself out of debt. I am a few steps away from getting my car back from repossession. Now, today after looking over the lab results seeing that I do not have a UTI and taking what the CC Dr had to say, it's time to take this seriously. I have been steadily putting on weight for quite awhile.

I hate how I look in full body pictures. I don't feel sexy at all. I look at my younger sister in her small frame and I remember a time when I was the same size she was. I can do it. I can get back to where I was before I stopped caring about myself: about my physical and mental health.

The Convenient Care Dr thought my biggest issue was weight gain. She said being overweight and not drinking enough water can actually show the same symptoms of a UTI without the pain, like I was experiencing.

So, here goes. Time to drop the soda, time to pick up the water, fruits, and eating as healthy as I make my clients eat.

I'm going to work hard, working evenings will just mean that I have to get up at a reasonable time to walk. When I get my budget figured out, hopefully a morning workout class, like dance. I miss dancing. I miss playing sports competitively. Those two things might have to be built up to. What I think would work, utilize the rest of the summer and fall until it gets to be too cold to spend mornings or evenings walking, definitely pacing myself (old sports injuries).


So this is my starting point (this is the boring part):
My weight is a whopping 108.9kg or 240lbs 1.3oz , height is 5' 4.5" so that makes my BMI: 40.6 which places me in the Obese area by quite a bit.

Measurements:

Bust: Measure around the chest right at the nipple line, but don't pull the tape too tight.
48.25"
Chest: Measure just under your bust
40.5"
Waist: Measure a half-inch above your belly button or at the smallest part of your waist
42"
Hips: Place tape measure around the biggest part of your hips
50.25"
Thighs: Measure around the biggest part of each thigh
28.25"
Calves: Measure around the largest part of each calf
19.5"
Upper arm: Measure around the largest part of each arm above the elbow
15"
Forearm: Measure around the largest part of the arm below the elbow.
12"

Next: Clothes are also a good way to track weightloss

Shirts: XL

Pants: 19 Short

Coats:

And finally #1, sleep: According to my age 7-9hrs. I'm going to shoot to go to bed about midnight and wake up at 7-7:30a.

Time to get started. I'll add a page to track this or just give it a label for easy tracking for anyone that cares.

Stash Bash! Birthday Edition

So Monday was my niece's birthday and I quickly dove into my stash of fabric to find something good to use for her birthday present. I discovered some leftovers from a quilt.

A quick google search showed I had enough for what I wanted to do. A blanket and pillow for her American Girl doll. I even had extra stuffing and padding. So here we go:

This 8 year old in my life is a huge frozen fan and absolutely adored the frozen pillow I made her for Christmas. So for her birthday, her doll got an Olaf pillow and a reversible blanket.

I think she was very happy with this and I really enjoyed jumping back into sewing with this quick project that really helped me destress from the first 2 weeks of a new job and family/relationship drama. I was in a great mood the rest of the day.

The blanket was cut 21" x 18" wide and I added blanket padding since I had that laying around. After I sewed three sides I flipped it outside out and used my quilting thread to sew through the blanket o keep the parts together then finished up the end. Followed up around the other sides to make it look uniform.

The pillow was 9" x 12" and three sizes were sewed before being stuffed with stuffing and the final side was closed up.

Overall for a first try at doll bedding, it turned out great in my opinion and the opinion my niece so I think that is the most important.